Why are you wasting time on those dating sites? You know you have zero chance of hooking up with someone as super-hot as me. So. Why don’t you get real with yourself and devote yourself to your true destiny: being Princess Ashleigh’s anonymous internet chastity puppet…" 4 minutes.
“Are you seriously asking me out? There’s no way I’d hook up with a pathetic little boner boy foot wimp like you. But since you’re so turned on my cute little toes, why don’t you ask one of them out for a date? Do it. Who knows. Maybe she’ll let …
“Let’s have a little talk — a VERY little talk — on what girls like me think about pathetic, useless, worthless dicks like yours. You’re going to unzip for me, so I can flick and spit on your sad little boner. Then you’re going to look me straight in the …
“You know I could never take you seriously as a man. But just because I would never date you doesn’t mean my feet wouldn’t. Ask them! Maybe they’ll let you take them for a pedicure, shoes shopping and even let you French kiss them. Who knows? If it gets really …